Week off

After 10 days in my new role, I am back in England for a week with Ruby, my daughter. I miss the land of bliss. Why? It certainly wasn't the easiest time of my life, getting to know my new job, with people seeming to expect me to know the answer to certain things almost immediately (actually this is helpful, as it helps me understand what people want from me as Personnel Manager) and the lack of staff to do certain things, not to mention the forthcoming vacuum when Alexa, the Head of Office, leaves at the beginning of May.

I suppose what I love about the job, and have always loved about being at DCL, is that I'm working towards something bigger than my personal happiness or security. I feel part of a grand vision of societal enlightenment. I often demonstrate this for people by talking about doing gardening work: in 2002-3 I lived most of the time at DCL, and found myself gravitating to working outside. To their credit, the existing management team allowed me to do this, and I had a great time, mowing, pruning, weeding and other "menial" tasks.

After leaving DCL I continued to work as a gardener in London, but for private homeowners. They each had their own vision of what they wanted in their garden, and we would try to achieve that. But I never really felt part of their vision, and at times felt really like a slave! Although I was doing basically the same tasks, my heart was not in it, and consequently it tired me out completely, mostly I think because I was fighting it.

Although I have not really done any office work in London since I was eighteen, I cannot imagine that I would be enjoying the repetitive little tasks, the phone calls, the photocopying, the stapling! as I have done the last days. But in Dechen Choling I can somehow say that I was. Why? Partly, I think, because I feel I am doing something worthwhile. I think it also has to do with not feeling self-conscious about applying the teachings we receive on mindfulness and compassion in working with others. Of course, this office is a shared space, and shared with others who are also working with their minds.